criticism

I don't really know how to deal with criticism.

We always got comment sheets from our school growing up, with a bunch of checkboxes to mark off - and there would always be a positive checkbox side and a negative checkbox side and the moment the negative side had any trace of ink on it, I would freak out. One time, I shredded them all, hoping my parents would never see anything to possibly suggest that I wasn't doing perfectly fine.

Needless to say, the box labeled "Accepts criticism well" was always left blank.

I've always thought that understanding the gospel would help with that. People can't take the bad news because there's no good news to save us from the bad. I think that's why we get defensive.

A quote within a quote within a book I'm reading expressed it really well. This is why I need Jesus.

In light of God's judgment and justification of the sinner in the cross of Christ, we can begin to discover how to deal with any and all criticism. By agreeing with God's criticism of me in Christ's cross, I can face any criticism man may lay against me. In other words, no one can criticize me more than the cross has.
- Alfred Poirier, qtd. in Worship Matters p. 223

no turning back

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."
- 1 Corinthians 9:24

I've done my rounds and as we're hitting the final stretch of this season, I'm tired, beaten, and bruised. I don't feel like I know what I'm doing anymore, and of the things I know I should be doing, I don't feel like I have the strength to get up and do it. Sometimes, I want to give up and slink to the sidelines. But no, God offers a power I could never muster up on my own.

"I was pushed back and about to fall, but the LORD helped me. The LORD is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation."
- Psalm 118:13-14

"Jesus replied, 'No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.'"
- Luke 9:62

It's painful to say, but sometimes the only way past the fire is through it.

I watched the movie Chariots of Fire with a friend yesterday and something amazing about the story is just the heart of the men who don't stop running the race they're given. It's inspiring. Easier said than done, for sure.

The end for us is more than just tape marking a finish line. It's the hope of finding good rest without regret, it's the hope of seeing and enjoying the treasures we stored up in heaven. It's the hope of meeting Jesus face-to-face one day and hearing, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." We don't stop running this race until we die. No turning back.

worth

But God drags away the mighty by his power; though they become established, they have no assurance of life. He may let them rest in a feeling of security, but his eyes are on their ways. For a little while they are exalted, and then they are gone; they are brought low and gathered up like all others; they are cut off like heads of grain.
- Job 24:22-24

For a little while they are exalted, and then they are gone.

I've lived off of man's praise for a long, long time. I've had daily doses and injections of ego from teachers, parents, friends - whether direct or indirect - references to intellect, discipline, maturity, talent, skill, achievement, whatever. And it feels good. But it's most surely a fleeting joy. Who will remember me in a century? Who will remember Steve Jobs in even 20 years?

He may let them rest in a feeling of security...

Again, it feels good. To feel like I'm capable, to have a high GPA, to get a nice job, to feel accomplished, secure, to be constantly told that I will do great things. And perhaps all those things are true.

They are brought low and gathered up like all others...

But in the end, one day I will grow old and my brain will slow down. Perhaps, I contract a mental disorder and I can't be the smart kid anymore. Perhaps I end up crippled. Perhaps I get caught in a fire and half my body is burned. These things are surely implausible, but not impossible. I'm sure Job (in the Bible) didn't think he was going to lose everything so abruptly.

I thank God that our treasure is in heaven.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
- Matthew 6:19-21

we are but trees

Five interesting things I've run across this past week:

1) When is Indecision Loveless and Sinful? (A Lesson from Bonhoeffer)

2) Just Do Something - Kevin DeYoung

3) How He Loves - David Crowder Band
"He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy"

4) "Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not begin to say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' For I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire." (Luke 3:8)

5) "So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor." (1 Corinthians 3:7-8)