volition

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."
- Luke 22:42

My heart trembles when I think of letting God's will rather than mine be done in my life. All I care about is doing things for myself. If serving God means putting myself out there and facing rejection and failure, I'm reluctant. The answer seems so simple. Let His will be done.. But it's hard to let go.

I will so willingly join a student organization for myself - if it means my resume looks better. But if it is for God and it means it's an opportunity to make meaningful relationships, as God is showing me, my heart balks at the thought and a heavy burden sets in. I ask for burdens when I don't have them, but when I get them, I'd much rather be comfortable.

It's so hard to say: not my will, but Yours be done.