stay-at-home

Inspired by this blogpost this morning: http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/christ-something-insult

I've sat through a good number of services filled with testimonies while attending HMCC - whether they be baptism ceremonies, spontaneous Friday night testimony-sharing times, or Grad Nights, and for me, none were as good as the two this past week.

I remember thinking as a freshman (and a sophomore... and a junior, for that matter), "I wonder what I'll share when I get up there. I wonder what kind of crazy stories I could tell about what happened during my college career?"

(Duly noted: conspicuous lack of God in my thinking...)

This past week when I was sitting in our Easter baptism service, I remember the thoughts quietly seeping in once again.

"God, why don't I get to have crazy things like this happen in my life? Why don't you send down angels from heaven and meet me on my road to Damascus? Why can't I give that kind of testimony?"

And He placed the story of the prodigal son in my heart. The cynical older brother.

"Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!" (Luke 15:29b-30)

To be honest, I don't think the older son really cared about whether he was thrown a feast or not. I think he just wanted to be assured of his father's love.

"My son," the father said, "You are always with me, and everything I have is yours." (Luke 15:31)

What the father says poses somewhat of a dilemma for the insecure older son. To admit that the father was being truthful required trust. A kind of trust that grows over time, that allows him to believe that the father keeps his word.

I'm believing more and more everyday in the Father that keeps His Word. When he says that everything He has is mine, I believe it, whether or not I'm thrown a feast. And I cannot be jealous of those who are thrown those feasts. I will celebrate, because they are the brothers who are coming home to know the same love of the Father who loved me when I was insecure - whether I slaved for him or not.