morning calm

In the craziness of Finals Week. Procrastination sucks, and it's like this disease that eats you from the inside out, like atopic dermatitis (which doesn't actually eat you from the inside out, but makes your skin really flaky).

Yes, and indeed, in this hectic week, I have found time to play video games, hang out with people, "study", and a bunch of other things that you wouldn't even expect. It's quite bizarre, indeed. And today is Friday, which is supposed to be the "relax" day of the week, but somehow it ended up becoming the "let's crackdown day" for me.

And so I woke up early (pre-sunrise) today, and it's really nice. Not only did I get to enjoy a fully nutritional breakfast, I get the time to just sit and listen to music in my otherwise-silent apartment where 5 roommates (maybe 4, I never know where one of them is...) are quietly off in dreamland.

The things I'm facing these days are bitter battles over my own soul - unapparent from the outside, but the enemy attacks in deception.. and all the while I'm feeling fine, my heart is being clawed at. If it is seized, I can only express one emotion: apathy. And I know that being unable to feel is the most dangerous of feelings; the most suffering that I could experience.

To spur me on for the day, I'm reminding myself now (although I'll probably forget in the next couple hours), that today might be my last chance to show Him I love Him (shamelessly derived from: "this might be my last chance to tell him that You love him"). No second, no minute, no hour can be taken for granted.