spoiled silly

I read this blog post (How to Manipulate God) this morning and it's funny because I was thinking about the same thing.

It's funny because it's so easy to fall into the mindset of making God like Santa and thinking again that He's going to shower us with the answers to all our desires if we're good. But however holy and good those desires may be, God knows better and they're all coming in His timing.

I got frustrated yesterday at Prayer Gathering because it was hard to pray... the words weren't flowing, my heart didn't feel in it, and I couldn't really feel God was there. And all the while I was pouting because I was mad that God wasn't answering my prayers about moving in this direction or that direction, changing my heart this way or that, having His Spirit fill me... etc. I felt like I had the right to get these things because they all seemed to be pure desires. The thing is, though, I have the wrong idea.

Perhaps I'm spoiled silly. I remember growing up that my mom would always get me something if it was something relatively wholesome - that is, if I asked her to buy me a video game console, then she'd never get me one, but if I asked her if I could buy a book, she would always oblige. Consequently, I feel like I deserve, and I'm always going to get the best from God, too. And He will - it's just that even what seems "good" isn't good enough for Him. His timing is perfect. And I'm sure He wants me to mature and stop taking everything for granted.

So I pray that I'll remain in His presence, persevering and seeking Him, trusting that He'll carry through what He wants and that He will answer my prayers, no matter how long it takes. Because it's not about how I word the prayers, how long I pray, or how often I pray - it depends on God.

"It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy."
- Romans 9:16

Make me less of a spoiled child and more of a child who trusts his Father.