moment by moment

"Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
- James 4:13-17

I'm a meticulous planner. I'm addicted to Google Calendar. When I sin, I plan hours in advance, and then when it comes down to the struggle between my flesh and my heart, I go ahead with my plan. I don't know if anyone else understands what I mean when I say this, but most of the time when I sin it's premeditated.

My plans are often so much more important than God's. During the summer, an older brother asked me, "Do you think you're better than God?" (and I probably wrote about this in some previous post). And yes, I would have to say that I live like I'm indeed better than God.

I pray that this year, I can live moment to moment - because I don't even know what will happen in the next 5 minutes. I've had a taste of what it's like to be led by God and to be loved by God, and it's worth it. The eternal lie is that something else will satisfy - but it never does... no matter how long it lasts, the high wears off eventually.