void

Something I've been noticing recently is the feeling of emptiness and loneliness.

I always used to wonder what people meant when they said we had a "God-shaped void" in our hearts. Sure, it made logical sense, but it didn't really click. I'm only now discovering I've always had that void.

When I come home from getting stuck having fun and just "acting crazy" (as I tend to do at times), or when I'm just stuck showing off, playing guitar and singing, or when I play sports for pride, or when I'm playing video games to empty my mind, I attempt to fill that void. Usually when I get done with any of those things, I'm left feeling drier and emptier than when I began. Then I jump to the next thing, and the next, and the next... and I could go on forever.

The absolute last thought on my mind is to seek God in those times. But that's exactly what I need. I can't think of a fitting analogy, except that we as people tend to do this a lot. We claw after everything that might temporarily tide us over, and as we dig ourselves deeper into a ditch, we end up asking for God to come save us in the end. What would it be like if we just knew that being with Him to begin with was worth everything?