control

I have responsibilities. I have clear work I need to do, and some things are certain - if I choose not to do the dishes, my kitchen will be dirty. Sometimes I'd like to say, God, why don't you find me a maid or something. But there's no point blaming God for responsibilities I have, because I'm fully aware.

But often when I've taken care of everything I need to, I stress out that people don't act the way I want them to, my heart doesn't go the way I want it to, and that the stars don't align so I can live out my Disney fairytale life.

This past week I had to face being emotionally distraught over something someone said. They meant no harm, but it hit a sore spot I barely knew I had. Then I wonder whether I should be doing more to toughen up to make sure I don't get hurt. I wonder what walls need to be built up to protect myself. I hated the fact that I wasn't in control of my own emotions.

I scheduled my entire Monday out only to find that for various reasons, everyone who I was slated to meet with canceled on me. My natural inclination was to get frustrated at how others were being inconsiderate and/or irresponsible.

But it's really not a dog-eat-dog world, it's a God-is-God world. God asks a few things of us, and we can do it faithfully. Then we trust Him for the rest.

Only let us hold true to what we have attained. (Phil. 3:16, ESV)