cynicism

A cynic is someone who is "critical of the motives of others."

That comes out for me when I see people and I assume the absolute worst. Somewhere deep down inside, I know I'm the absolute worst and I assume that everyone else, including God, can only be worse than I am. So when I feel jaded and frustrated, I can only assume that everyone else is doing everything for the wrong reason, to please and serve their own selves.

At heart, it's a faith issue. No doubt everyone's motives are nasty and twisted on the inside, but sometimes I forget to believe that Jesus walks alongside us and purifies us to overcome our own sinful hearts. Sometimes I forget there's a way out. Sometimes I see what we should be and what we fail to be, and I forget that Jesus loves us anyway, and that He also made a way. Sometimes, I forget.

But the battle of the Christian, my battle to fight, is to stop where I am in my cynicism. Things are terrible now, no doubt, and objectively falling apart, but to turn in these times to the living God who can change all things. To the living Son of God who overcame sin and weakness and trust that it is finished. To the Christian, a broken situation is nothing but an opportunity to shine God's light.

I admire the Penn State players who are responding to their whole situation with optimism. I don't think human optimism lasts, but hope in God to accomplish and fulfill His purposes always will. What they said was purely inspiring:

"As a team, we don't see this as a punishment, this is an opportunity," senior running back Michael Zordich said. "This is the greatest opportunity a Penn Stater could ever be given. We have an obligation to Penn State and we have the ability to fight not just for a team, not just a program, but for an entire university and every man that wore the blue and white on the gridiron before us. We are going to embrace this opportunity and we're going to make something very special happen in 2012."
Added senior linebacker Michael Mauti: "This program was not built by one man and this program sure as hell is not going to get torn down by one man."

Bravo. Replace every reference to Penn State with either "God" or "the Church" and you have yourself one amazingly holy quote.


I've been cynical of humanitarian organizations and non-profits and people who try to help others. I've been cynical of my family and friends and everyone who tries to do something nice for someone else, because I think they're doing it selfishly. I easily refuse to accept love and refuse to offer it, too.

As I've been working for my company (shameless link here) and all my co-workers are inspired and working toward the hope of something big, I've found myself enjoying work but without faith that something great can happen. I don't think we can make a dent or an impact in the world. But that stops me from even trying.

When I'm in my Bible study and I see guys lounging about and not particularly passionate about God, I get discouraged. I don't think an encouraging word to people can matter and make a dent in the situation that we're in. I think that any kind of love demonstrated is purely self-driven and I discredit anything and everything that could be good. Cynicism stops me from even trying.

But God's been teaching me lately, that He can take a mustard seed and make it something huge. He can work in the smallest act of grace. He can use a small company. He will hear every prayer, and His words will never return to Him empty. So I will love, I will work, I will serve, I will listen, I will pray, and I will fight.

..."I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24)