trust and obey

This past summer has been amazing. I'm so thankful to God for all He's done.

There have been countless amount of times when I've felt guilty, ashamed, annoyed, frustrated, proud and weak. And God has not failed to deliver me once. No, not once.

I used to think that when things weren't going well that it was up to me. I had to get on my knees and fast, I had to read the Bible more, I had to serve more, I had to pray more. The voice of condemnation is oft the loudest and most convincing. Chris, why weren't you better?

I used to think that it was God's fault. If He's sovereign, why didn't he fix the problem? I'm a mere human, after all. There is no power in me to change anything. But God, can't you? God, why aren't you better?

But I've realized the power of simply obeying God and doing what He says. He says, "Follow me, and I will make you a fisher of men."

And without fail, every time I don't want to succumb to the discomfort of loving annoying people, every time I refuse to share God's love with someone who needs it, every time I have told Him, "God, I honestly don't love this guy, and I cannot." He has taught me to refuse to turn away and still say, "But I know Jesus overcame sin, so please overcome this sinful heart in me." Every time, God has opened amazing doors.

God, you are better. Create in me a clean heart; restore to me the joy of Your salvation; cast me not away from Your presence; do not take your Holy Spirit from me. For this is where I want to be.