the living word

My daily morning routine takes me to Starbucks on State St. at 7:30. I normally lounge around a little and read a little bit of the Bible and chat a little bit with friends who might be around. Early morning Starbucks is the new hot destination for recent college grads.

This morning I was reading, and I came across the parable of the net.

Once again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was let down into the lake and caught all kinds of fish.
- Matthew 13:47

Matthew Henry's commentary explains that the church catches all different kinds of people, those redeemed and not, and he mentions the times when Jesus asked his disciples to let down their nets and they respond, "We've been doing this all day and we know what we're doing so whatever, but we'll do it because you say so."

As I'm sitting at Starbucks reading this, someone comes and sits on the couch next to me. He looks like an incoming freshman, but you can't really be sure and the blue lanyard he's wearing indicates he could be here for anything - summer camp, college, a conference, etc.

I look over at him, and God puts on my mind, "Talk to this guy."

We've all heard this story before in some sermon or some Christian book. I started thinking back to all the times people shared about their experiences with timidity and in getting these impressions from God - they often end with some crazy moment where the person is ministered to in prayer or accepts Christ or something.

I've been there too many times before, and most of the time I end up forcing a conversation out of fear, and it never ends really well. But this time, I couldn't help but think of the verses that talk about not worrying what to say because the Spirit will give you words to speak (Matthew 10:19), not fearing man but fearing God who can kill you and also send you to hell (Matthew 10:28).

So I'm sitting here wavering on the fence... and there was a huge jumble of thoughts racing through my mind:

What if this guy was sent to hell and asked me, "Why didn't you talk to me?"
Alright, God, if you want me to do this, give me the Spirit's power.
I'm totally not doing this.
I'm scared he's going to flip out and reject me.
Is that the worst thing that can happen? And how can I call myself surrendered if I can't even bear such small shame?
It's quiet in Starbucks. People are going to look over and think I'm weird.
Is this the moment he's going to accept Christ, if I talk to him?
I am an absolute nobody. I might be one link in a chain of a thousand people and God doesn't want me to take any glory.
Maybe... God just wants me to talk to him.

I calculate a lot.

In the end, God makes what He wants happen. During this silent torture I was inflicting on myself, the guy looked at me and we made eye contact for a second. I said, "Sup."

The conversation wasn't too long. He's in town for a week bumming because his dad is here for some conference. I invited him to LIFE group because he said he was bored and asked him if he needed prayer for anything. He probably thinks I'm a weirdo.

I'm thankful for the chance to be obedient to His Word. Because maybe it doesn't have anything to do with what happens after I do something. Maybe it has a lot more to do with listening and following, even if nothing comes of it. And in the end, He'll bear fruit.