temptation

Temptation is so hard to stray away from. As much as I try not to sin and give in, it happens time and time again. I am human.

As much as I beat myself down on this, I can't overcome sin without Christ. Thank God for grace.

"For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace."
- Romans 6:14

I don't want to live as a slave to sin.

I suffer from guilt a lot, especially after I willfully sin. It's kind of crazy how I somehow rationalize my actions at times to say that it's okay because I'll be forgiven. I need to learn that grace is freely given - that God doesn't care how many different sins I commit, He is my Father regardless. And fathers love their children no matter what. And it's funny because I think that one sin is worse than another, when that's not true. There is no hierarchy to sin - the only sure thing is that the wages of sin is death. Do you know what's funnier? I somehow justify that doing some good deed or thinking about my sin for around 10 minutes afterward, even writing this blog post, somehow rectifies the wrong I did through sin. Says a lot about my worldview and philosophy. Seems I still subconsciously have this superstition about karma - I can understand why some people believe in it. That needs to be changed.

On another (I would write brighter, but I wouldn't classify this as bright news) note, there is an article on CNN about a school principal and athletic director facing prison for saying a prayer before a meal for some school luncheon.

School brass facing prison time for luncheon prayer

At first, I saw my conserva-nazi side coming out, and all I could think about was how we somehow need to take down the ACLU with brute force... and protect the world from stem cell research and abortion and gay marriage and everything that is destroying the institution that is the Christian United States of America... but that's another story (or not one at all). I see a few lessons in reading the article:

1) It is an honor to be persecuted for the faith we have in Christ.
"The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name."
- Acts 5:41

2) We don't need to pray in public to show off our religiosity.
"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full."
- Matthew 6:5

3) This one is more controversial for me. This article still reminds me of it, though, that we win people by love, not by our actions.
Be sensitive to the people you are around. Stick to your convictions, but don't offend anyone.
"To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some."
- 1 Corinthians 9:20-22

And on that note - to think that Paul would use all possible means - makes me wonder for my motivation for doing things. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the meaning of a church, and why I go and all that. And as I think about it, it just seems clearer that I'm to treat it as an opportunity and an outreach ministry - so that "by all possible means I might save some." It seems stressful when I think about it as a duty, along with all the other spiritual disciplines. But when it is instead a privilege - a way to get to better know God, and a way to help others know God, too. Love is the motivation.