servanthood

I hate living with a bundle of lies strapped to my back. They claw at me, chew me from the inside out, and I live most of my life completely unaware. I tell myself I'm being honest, when I bury the facts I should be facing. I pride myself in my vulnerability, when in fact I only reveal the things I think about, which, in fact, describe nothing about me. My thoughts are full of profundity, with only the occasional sputter of personal thought. I'm not open with myself and God, let alone the world.

God is the author of my life. At the moment, I think I'm on the wrong end of a scene chock-full of dramatic irony. I'm the one who's least aware of myself, of my own issues. All I can hope is that it's not going to end as a tragedy.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others."
- Philippians 2:3-4

If I'm to be a servant, I need to consider others better than myself. Paul seems to love describing my antithesis. I can barely see myself in a clear light, and this asks me to look outside my comfortable bubble. Do I dare?