reason

They say everything happens for a reason.

I don't think we believe it most of the time. Phrases like "You got lucky!" and "What a coincidence!" wouldn't be said if we thought everything happened for a reason.

I'm finding in myself that I don't find reason for every little conversation I have and every chance encounter I have, but every single one is significant. In one particular supposedly insignificant conversation, I found that when I talk to people, I realize that I do everything I can not to face shame, to the extent of lying and hiding myself.

I won't go into detail, but things need to change. I shouldn't be lying to people, shouldn't be fearing judgment. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. I am rich in spirit... Some spring cleaning is in order, especially before I start doing missions. I need to restore myself to the way I should have been, an honest human being seeking after God's own heart. It's an impossible task to conquer, but taking it step-by-step, I'll get closer than I ever would on my own.