breaking out

I enjoy being in small spaces. I'm claustrophilic (if that's even a word). As a child, I've locked myself in a closet, stuffed myself in a cubbyhole, wrapped myself in a cocoon of blankets... and the list goes on. I've found that I am most secure when I can feel walls on all my sides, knowing that there is no open breeze coming to sneak up behind me.

My personality reflects this. I love keeping myself enclosed, to being vulnerable to a few choice people, to keep a small, close-knit group of friends. I'm slowly realizing why this is wrong. We talk about being "transcultural" at church, yet I've simply grazed the tip of the iceberg when it comes to being exactly that; it's not about how friendly you are to random people you meet who you will never meet again, but it's about getting close with exactly those people who you wish you would never see again.

I hear stories of people being witnesses to non-believers and bringing them to faith. Sometimes I ask, "Why not me? Why can't I do that?"

I find that there's two parts to being a witness.
I. You have to do the things that exemplify Christ-like-ness.
II. You have to spend time with people who are non-believers.

The latter is undoubtedly easier - yet I work less on it than I do the former. How am I to be a witness if I'm still swaddled like an infant? I need to break out of my shell, to find a new home in the world.