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"But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny.
Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, 'I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.'"
- Mark 12:42-44

Trying to live as a Christian always presents itself with at least a little bit of discouragement. Forty years of prayer, no answer. Five months of despair, no reprieve. Things such as lasting bitterness at a church...

But this story keeps running through my mind these days. Perhaps as a reminder that what is most beautiful is love. Love is what compels us to give our all, even if we have nothing left. And Christ's love is what frees us from our flesh - the emotions, the thoughts, the temptations that drag us down.

Love is more valuable than the results. We're often constricted in our minds to the state we live in, to the emotions we're feeling right now, to the soul that hasn't yet been won, to losing hope that God will ever come through. But why can't we take our delight in the giving of ourselves instead of despairing at the lack of success?

Pastors always tell us to "take joy in our giving" when we give our measly 10%. They're onto something.

"You know as well as I do that if someone is loving you in a begrudging way, like, "I really don't want to do this for you, but I'm a Christian and I'm supposed to, so I'll do it," you don't feel very loved. You don't feel very loved when they are dutifully helping you fix your flat tire. But, if they say, "You know what, it is my delight to do this for you. I just get a lot of joy out of seeing you get helped"—when someone says that to you, and you sense that they really do enjoy blessing you and putting themselves out in order that you might be built up or strengthened or have some need met, you feel wonderfully loved."

And this widow knew how to love God. Not grudgingly, not because she had to, not for some result and miracle, but because it was her joy.