guided

"Either we wake to tackle our 'to do' list, get things done, guided by our morals and whatever clarity we may at the moment have (both rather lacking to the need, I might add). Or we wake in the midst of a dangerous Story, as God's intimate ally, following him into the unknown.

If you're not pursuing a dangerous quest with your life, well, then, you don't need a Guide. If you haven't found yourself in the midst of a ferocious war, then you won't need a seasoned Captain. If you've settled in your mind to live as though this is a fairly neutral world and you are simply trying to live your life as best you can, then you can probably get by with the Christianity of tips and techniques. Maybe. I'll give you about a fifty-fifty chance. But if you intend to live in the Story that God is telling, and if you want the life he offers, then you are going to need more than a handful of principles, however noble they may be. There are too many twists and turns in the road ahead, too many ambushes waiting only God knows where, too much at stake. You cannot possibly prepare yourself for every situation. Narrow is the way, said Jesus. How shall we be sure to find it? We need God intimately, and we need him desperately."
- "Waking the Dead," John Eldredge

This hit me rather hard as something I need to write, because I know I'm guided by my mind. Perhaps the thing that worries me and crosses my mind most often is that 'to do' list.

I was asked recently, "Do you think you're better than God?" And though I haven't really reflected on it extensively, I feel like it may be true. I don't want God to be God. I want to be in charge; in control... but it doesn't always work that way, does it?