enhancement

I've come to the conclusion that I'm driven by performance. Everything I do is either about succeeding at something or pleasing someone.

When I went cold-turkey evangelizing, I went out with the hope that someone I meet will be led to Christ through me - so that I might be able to tell others about it. Bad motive. Looking back, I would have done better to give the poor guy a hug rather than try to force speaking when he obviously didn't want to hear what I had to say.

So I have a few questions:
1) Do I really believe Christ was divine?
2) Do I trust in Christ with all my life?

These are a couple questions I constantly need to be asking myself. People seem to be able to pray to baby Jesus fine, but when he said that he is the way, the truth and the life, were they listening? Either he was divine or he was psychotic. Do I trust him enough to believe what he said was true?