hmmm..

So many thoughts, but none so great as my own self-consciousness. I see myself trying to impress again, trying to step up, trying to show that I'm worthy of recognition, praise, and honor. I speak empty words of modesty. Tear this tall tree down, tear this spirited heart down and replace it with one that knows that there is nothing to offer, nothing I can give. That there are no amount of daily devotions I can perform to prove my love for you, no amount of words spoken behind a closed door that will make you love me any more or any less.

And still I believe I can somehow redeem my own life out of my own righteousness. Do I need a healthy dose of shame everyday to remind me that my life is not my own? Why do I always have to be right? Why can't I take a step of humility and servanthood?