irrational

We always assume humans are rational. I mean if something is stupid, you won't do it right?

Yeah. We can convince ourselves of any lie; we can commit ourselves to doing the dumbest thing. We are messed up.

Logic kills sometimes, because you can argue for or against both sides of anything. It never gets you anywhere. For all the logic and reason we put our trust in, I've come to the conclusion that after X many years of human civilization, we still haven't come to a consensus. Logic will never prevail.

And I know this all, because I told myself I wasn't going to do something, and literally 15 minutes later I did it. I somehow rationalized in the spur of the moment that it was okay, even though 15 minutes earlier, with a clearer mind and no temptation, I thought it wasn't. Bad logic makes a lot of sense sometimes. To think that at the time, I told myself: "It's logical, so it must be okay!"

When it comes to the actual moment of temptation, predictions mean nothing. You either knew how to rely on God or you knew how to rely on your faulty logic.

Much like this situation:

You can practice shooting free throws all you like, but when you're at the line during the national championship game with the trophy at stake, your 95% FT shooting rate means absolutely nothing. Practice is good, but it is how you react in the face of adversity that reveals your true character.

(Shoot. That last sentence right there sounds like it should be on a fortune cookie or something.)

And one more thing. I buy the lie a lot of times that we can "out-sin" God's grace. Especially when you're about to sin, and you know that it's not right that you're giving in, but you know God will forgive you anyway, so you go and do it... and then you feel horrible and then you realize you're beyond forgiveness.

No. That's not true. Although I really do believe that taking those steps away from Him makes it harder to get back, that's all the more reason that grace increases. Not to say that we should sin so that grace increases. Romans 6 talks about that one.

Sigh. I wish I could be perfect, and I hate that I'm not. I hate depending on something other than myself. Even if it is freeing. It's like I'm scared of freedom. I am very irrational, aren't I?