:)

Two exciting songs.. that start out.. the same.

Check this at 0:18:


And this at 0:24:

easter

I've been swinging through a lot of ups and downs (mostly the latter) recently, and through it all I've just been disappointed and mad at God because I forgot who He is.

I've never questioned God's sovereignty. It doesn't bother me so much that bad things happen in the world while God is supposed to be in control. For some reason, I just don't question it. But what it does make me question is - does that sovereign, slightly distant God care about me?

Because my fear, in the midst of not understanding anything, not being able to process the gospel despite my best efforts and greatest hopes, is that God just doesn't want me. It's an exclusive club I can't be a part of.

But this past weekend, God just reminded me who He was. If I took a few minutes to read through the Bible and tried to get to know Him, I'd have understood earlier. And I'm bound to forget again.

I'm learning that God's not looking for an opportunity to kick me out of His presence; He's reaching out to draw me in. He's not making me miserable because He's vindictive; He's doing it to refine me and teach me how to bear His fruit. And just because I don't want to be in a situation doesn't mean it's not for His good, pleasing, and perfect will.

It strikes me that in Gethsemane, as Jesus prayed, I think He didn't really want to die on a cross. "If it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done." (Matthew 26:42).

I don't want to feel like life sucks, but if it's part of what God wants to do, then let Him do it. Because He is good, slow to anger, abounding in love. And I'll wait.

This song was from the Easter service slideshow, and wow, I love the lyrics:
'Cause I was always worried I was gonna let You down, 'til I got to know You