the change inside of me

"Consider your own life for just a moment. Where would you be today if He hadn't ransomed you, if He hadn't liberated you? I'll tell you where. You would be self-sufficient, seeking to cultivate self-confidence for the purpose of self-glorification.

But what has happened to you? If you've been genuinely converted, you've been forgiven and transformed. And though for now there remains in you a temptation and tendency to sin, a fundamental and radical change has occurred so that you have the desire to serve others and to see God glorified. We know the inner call to lay down our lives for one another because He laid down His life for us.

What a powerful death! The cross ransoms, the cross liberates, the cross transforms! So make it your aim and lifelong habit, when you see someone who's serving, to be reminded of the sacrifice of the Savior, for apart from His sacrifice there is no serving. True greatness is attained only by emulating the Savior's example - and made possible only by the Savior's sacrifice."
- p. 58, Humility by C. J. Mahaney

I look back and seldom remember God's grace in bringing me where I am today, taking me faithfully from day one to day two thousand, one hundred and eighty-six. But God's been so faithful. It's not about how hard you try, it's about who you know.

I really like this song below... and they say it's about their wives, but since I'm not married, I can just sing it to God. :)

0 comments:

catching up on sleep

I've been sleeping 12-14 hours a day. It feels so good. I always tell myself I'm going to reflect and get some rest and relax when I go home, and this is the first time I'm really starting to follow through with it. It feels so good.

I've been trying to read "Letters to Malcolm" by C.S. Lewis for the whole semester, and I'm finally getting around to it. Speeding through the chapters. Unfortunately, so much of his thinking is so deep (and his vocabulary so archaic) that I don't actually absorb all of the stuff that's in it. I'd probably have to read it when I hit age 70 to actually get it.

But yesterday there was a page that struck me as such applicable truth. Page 65.

"I do not at all regard mystical experience as an illusion. I think it shows that there is a way to go, before death, out of what may be called 'this world' - out of the stage set. Out of this; but into what? That's like asking an Englishman 'Where does the sea lead to?' He will reply, 'To everywhere on earth, including Davy Jones's locker, except England.' The lawfulness, safety, and utility of the mystical voyage depends not at all on its being mystical - that is, on its being a departure - but on the motives, skill, and constancy of the voyager, and on the grace of God. The true religion gives value to its own mysticism; mysticism does not validate the religion in which it happens to occur.
I shouldn't at all be disturbed if it could be shown that a diabolical mysticism, or drugs, produced experiences indistinguishable (by introspection) from those of the great Christian mystics. Departures are all alike; it is the landfall that crowns the voyage. The saint, by being a saint, proves that his mysticism (if he was a mystic; not all saints are) led him aright; the fact that he has practiced mysticism could never prove his sanctity.


...


There can be a desire (like mine) with no carnal element in it at all which is nevertheless, in St. Paul's sense, 'flesh' and not 'spirit.' That is, there can be a merely impulsive, headstrong, greedy desire even for spiritual things. It is, like our other appetites, 'cross-fodder.' Yet, being crucified, it can be raised from the dead, and make part of our bliss."

I had this conversation with someone at one point in the semester. And this is after I had a bunch of spiritual "experiences," so I was excited because God seemed so real in my life. But he was talking about some special kind of Zen Buddhism or something (in fact, it was so obscure I don't even remember), and he was talking about spiritual experiences he's had and what he'd seen. But what this small excerpt talks about is that it's not the experiences themselves that are important. And people will emphasize that.

"Christianity's so much like Islam."

"Yeah, I've had experiences like that, too."

"Yeah, we have the same values."

But when it comes down to it, it's not the thing itself, but what gives it meaning. For what gives all the good things we do (and the spiritual experiences we have) meaning? Surely not us, surely they don't innately have meaning in themselves.

"...you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ."
- 1 Peter 2:5

Things only have meaning when they're lifted up in faith through Christ. We are only saved and restored to God when we have faith in Christ. Our spiritual experiences only mean something because they show we have been drawn closer to the God who was, is, and is to come, through Christ.

1 comments:

boldness

I pray not for boldness for my sake. That I may be a better servant.

I pray for boldness for their sake. That they might one day rejoice in heaven. And that day, I'll know it was worth it. Not because I was more bold, but because they were found by the Father.

0 comments:

missions

God's heart, and the heart for missions does not ask:

"What would happen to me if I went out and did this?"

It asks:

"What would happen to them if I did not do this?"

It is fundamentally the question at the heart of the Good Samaritan. It is the question he asked, and the question that the priest and the Levite failed to ask.

I've yet to finish it, but it's from this video:

0 comments:

stress

I spent a lot of my time in high school and college (though to be honest I don't really remember high school... I feel like I wasn't the same person back then) worrying about the next thing; the next task to take care of.

Do you know what I'm talking about? That nagging pressure somewhere between your heart and your stomach that feels like you've forgotten something. It's like your own personal Remembrall.

Especially being busy with things to do at church or at school or at work, I'm pretty sure I've taken 10 years off my life because of stress. Organization definitely helps, but I think it helps just to focus on the day at hand, the moment at hand, to live in the present and know the rest is provided for and planned out by God.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
- Matthew 6:33-34

He's got the whole world in His hands.

0 comments: