euthanasia

I read an article this morning on euthanasia. Apparently, the majority of my generation is in favor; which makes sense, when we want something, we go get it. Including death.

"There is nothing new under the sun, only endless repackagings." - John Piper

The mentality isn't too far from the Nazis. I bet they probably believe in those five statements I laid out above. And I bet the Jews would beg to differ.

Today's reading in the Bible reminded me that men will debate and argue over what is "right," but what is right is what God has ordained.

"Streams of tears flow from my eyes, for your law is not obeyed!" (Psalm 119:136)

reads

Because they had been unfaithful to the LORD, Shishak king of Egypt attacked Jerusalem in the fifth year of King Rehoboam. (2 Chronicles 12:2)

fall 2012

Fall 2012 is already gone, and that marks another semester in the books. That one was truly a blur.

What have I learned about God, and what have I learned about myself?

It's easier to start with me, I guess. I found myself in August sitting in a chair, struck by the fear of responsibility and being exposed in different areas of my life as I saw the ugly side of myself to the core. To this day, I am not exactly sure what I'm doing. I don't like the idea of being confronted with my failures or insecurities, but God made it clear why we sing "where you go I'll go": even if the storms are ridiculous, it's safer to be in a hurricane with God than it is to be in a controlled safe-zone bubble without Him.

I am human, and I am frail.

The next couple months had me running nonstop, in and out of home and work and church. The very few things that remain are what God impressed in me through His Word and through experiences.

For one, my fear of people shrank and my appreciation for church and trust in people multiplied from a small thing to a slightly bigger thing. I can see who my role models are and why, as I contrast myself with who I thought I was. The "niceness" of my life was interrupted with an underlying coarseness, friendships became synonymous with conflict, and complex theologies boiled down to the simple truths of everyday life.

Life became real. Things that seemed like definites - church attendance, faithful devotion, outspoken faith - all these disintegrated into uncertainties as I met different kinds of people and saw people I know change. And in it, I see how much greater God's grace is when we are indeed able to savor those gifts. I can't take for granted that there is a community of people around me who are chasing after God - if not for them, I would certainly not. Nor that there are men trying to lead others to Christ - if not for them, I would crumble. Nor can I gloss over the fact that I find myself less lovable each day but feel more loved because of exactly that self-knowledge.

God is patient, and He always provides.

God has also been showing me how much He cares for the poor and powerless. A tour of Compassion in January, run-ins with the homeless, watching Nefarious and Passion's Freedom Film, and reading Isaiah 58 all tell me that God's heart is so much bigger than mine. Only when Jesus is Lord over my own heart will I start to gain His - Psalm 119:32 - because as it is, it's as shriveled as a prune. My prayer has been that God grows my heart in compassion.

God cares for the widow and the fatherless, the oppressed and the hungry.

I'm thankful for the relationships that have developed over the past semester. They seem so (again... that word) real, untainted by the obligations of what I always expected and thought friendships should look like. Friendships will look like whatever God intends them too. That goes for people in my LIFE group, people at my workplace, roommates, family; whoever. One thing remains true: a relationship only grows as deep as I'm willing to invest. As ugliness arises in myself and the people I know, I find that there's more room for God's grace.

God sees all the ugly and He loves us still.

joyful surprises

I stumbled across a Facebook post from someone I knew in elementary school.

As far as I can recall, he was one of the worst kids I knew in the 4th grade. He was the reason I learned my first Korean curse words. He was a bully and treated kids younger than him poorly (as myself). He abused his power and personality selfishly. All I have are bad memories of an abrasive personality.

But it's somewhat amazing because what I found was a long-winded post about how the essence of faith in God is that He works in our hearts, not that we offer our sacrifices and go pray early mornings and try to earn His love with our devotion. Such profound truth in such eloquent Korean.

My point being.. God can both choose and change anyone. Anyone.

unity

I'm used to being somewhat of a lone wolf when it comes to doing things, going places, figuring things out. The thought of depending on someone doesn't even cross my mind - I will rule out every other possible option before I go and ask someone to help.

The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" (1 Corinthians 12:21)

The eye is probably pretty stuck up. I can just imagine what it might think. I am a beautiful masterpiece. I can be blue, brown, green; you name it - people don't say "Your hands are beautiful" half as often as they say "Your eyes are beautiful." I matter a whole lot more than you, Mr. Hand.

Regrettably, I often think like this.

One of the brothers in my year from undergrad called together a prayer meeting for our class. It's been a while - we got together, people shared about how this season has been. Maybe I was sick of hearing about peoples' problems but I had some major internal eye-rolling. Then, after that, we prayed for what seemed like eternity as our hands were plastered together from sweat and everyone was twitching their feet. Much more internal eye-rolling.

But after my patience had hit its limit and I felt like we needed to be done and should move on with our lives, God softened my heart a little. I was humbled to know that there were people who were still willing to seek God and run this race for Him, and who were not in a hurry to leave the King's presence (Ecclesiastes 8:3). And I'm reminded how stale my heart gets if I am not daily jolted back to life.

I am thankful for these brothers and sisters. Thanks, Remedy.