tongue depressors and shots

I had a few spats with shots and tongue depressors growing up. I hated the thought that there were tiny things traveling around in my bloodstream affecting me on the inside, and I gagged every time the doctor tried to get me to say, "Ahhhhh." The joyous sounds were always more like, "Agghhh-cack-cack-cack."

A couple specific incidents stick out in my memory. One was when I actually wrote my pediatrician a Christmas card saying, "Thank you for being my doctor; please don't use the tongue depressor on me next time I come in." The second was when I was slated for an MMR vaccination and I cried for a few good hours before the shot, and I was crying so hard I didn't realize that the doctor had already injected me and been done with it for a good while.

I only say all these things because I see those same fears in me at times. I can handle a shot, I gag a little less with the tongue depressors, but a lot of times I'll find myself being inordinately consumed by fear. Fear can inflict a whole lot more pain than the object of fear.

I've been afraid of facing criticism, I've been afraid of facing failure, I've been afraid of meeting new people, I've been afraid of social humiliation, I've been afraid of getting cancer; you name it, I've probably drowned myself in the fear of it. But I can see things have been changing slowly but surely, because I'm learning to live in the moment and just wait till it actually happens.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline."
- 2 Timothy 1:6

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