impact

It's one thing to be hopeless and quite another to be surrendered. Sometimes we can't tell the difference.

I'm part of what I would call a "missional" church and a start-up company. Both involve big visions and big thoughts and dreams of big impact.

The shortcoming of being in these contexts is that sometimes I'm not content with the simple joys of life. The grandmother wielding a knitting needle in her rocking chair has a better grasp of God's daily, common grace than I do... I won't be satisfied until poverty is eradicated from the planet.

I'm just learning how to walk with God. Perhaps one day, He will grant that I go to the nations and do crazy things, but for now, I want to know how to thank Him for my roommates, my family, my church, my co-workers, and Jesus, who is prying more control from my hands every day. I want to demonstrate His free and unconditional love to the people around me now.

So when I feel like I'm not making enough of a dent in the issues in the world and peoples' lives, I remember that it's an act of faith to do anything at all. I don't want to turn hopeless, "Oh, woe is me and woe is the world, why are things not changing?" All I can really do is ask God to use my words, my deeds, my devotion, and my weaknesses.

And then I wait for the surprises to unfold.

short film

This is the best argument against eugenics and abortion.

mission

There's a lot that goes into finding a life's purpose. It's one of those things that everyone expects you to have but not many people actually do. Most peoples' actions speak for themselves, and my own drifting-down-the-river-take-me-where-you-will life trend is peaceful but at times dissatisfying.

I wish I had a mission statement. Black and white, night and day. Everyone always wishes that life fit into nice segments like that. Mathematicians most of all, computer scientists like myself equally as much. So we make crude approximations of what the real world is like and try to form it into something that makes sense.

This past week I was in my LIFE group and was just reminded what my life's purpose is. Unfortunately, it's too vague to be satisfying, but I think when the nuance of it hits me, I am immeasurably joyful.

So here it is:

The goal of my life is to praise Jesus' name and see other people do the same.

Men smarter and wiser than me came up with one many years ago in the Westminster Shorter Catechism: "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever." And I agree with that, too. I just wanted to write my own because I felt like it.

I often think our time singing and worshiping God is just a means to another end, a segue into a Bible study or a spiritual discussion. But when I realize that all God really cares about is that people praise and enjoy Him and make that everything, it changes everything. It clicked this week for me, not for the first time, and certainly not for the last. It clicked that I don't need to finish up or speed through that awkward time when no one really feels like praying or singing because we're just too distant from God and too proud to admit it. It clicked that what we don't need is more programs and more discussions, but just simply a greater love and satisfaction in God.

Then the Psalms start to make more sense. "May the peoples praise you, God; may all the peoples praise you." (Ps. 67:3)

Then the picture of heaven in Revelation makes more sense. "Day and night, they never stop saying: 'Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.'" (Rev. 4:8b)

Then the Great Commission becomes a little clearer. "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations..." (Matthew 28:19a)

So whatever helps people to sing, speak, and delight in praising Jesus. Those are the things that are worth doing.