opening every door

Sitting in the fishbowl, ready to pull a pretty long night. Want to write this post before I start doing anything.

There's a big burden on my heart, because I don't know what to say or what to do. It's one of those times when something is tugging me away and saying everything I do isn't worth it, that it's just easier to live for yourself than for Him. I know I lack so many things, and in particular, I stink at guiding people. I'm a lost sheep trying to get back to the herd, and I can do nothing for the other lost sheep.

I've discovered lately, even through a long weekend of what most people would call extreme "fun," that "fun" isn't worth living for. I can have a good time and all, but when it comes down to it, it's not worth having fun when it means absolutely nothing in an eternal perspective.

That, and the idea of "decisions" has been popping in my mind a lot lately. How do I make my decisions? Do I make them then ask God for His blessing, or do I ask Him for guidance? I realize how closed I actually am to allow God to work.. Even as we were talking about future careers, I said, "I'm open to anything EXCEPT working in a corporate environment."

Is it pleasing to God to make exceptions? I don't think so. I wasn't quite willing to open EVERY door for Him, just MOST of them. It definitely needs to be part of my lifestyle - opening every door, letting Him choose which I need to pass through. What more is there to life, anyway?