the folly of living to help people

It's very trendy these days to be helping people. I mean... you can buy stuff to help people in third-world countries, help support children who don't have money to feed themselves, volunteer at your local hospital, serve at your local church, join an impactful student organization, etc.

If I told you that I was starting a restaurant that donates $5 for every $10 earned to help starving children in Africa, I'd probably elicit one of these reactions:

1. Wow, Chris, that's awesome! I'm glad you're putting your education to good use.
2. Wow, you have such a good heart, Chris.
3. That sounds interesting, let me know when you open!
4. (more rarely) *cynicism*

And yes, it's completely admirable and beautiful in God's sight to do such a thing:

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. (James 1:27) 

But when helping people becomes the end goal and purpose of my life (getting back to the title of this post), many, many bad things can happen.

1. People who write godly blog posts backed by the Bible, will not agree with you. This is generally bad.
2. When you don't feel "useful," you will be very depressed.
3. You feel like a burden when you aren't helping people.
4. This will all eventually kill you on the inside. And perhaps kill you for real, too.

I don't want to find my worth in how well I serve God, how much fruit I bear, how many hungry mouths I feed, how many people I lead to Jesus, how well our business helps people, how much I love people, or anything else that involves something I do.

I take being "rooted in Christ" to mean that I don't judge myself to be the best Christian when I have done the most for God. The disciples would argue which among themselves was the greatest, but Jesus tells us to be like children.

And children aren't worried about how useful they are. They don't worry when their parents feed them whether they are serving their parents enough or they are doing enough for their parents. They know that their parents love them, but that doesn't necessarily mean they need a reason to be loved. They are loved because their parents are loving, not because they are worth loving.

And this is the love of Jesus. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Before I started trying to help people, Jesus loved me. May I never think that the purpose of my life is to "help people."

I want it to be to draw attention to the One who loves those who help and those who do not help alike. And that means... I'm going to stop writing and go help people.