losing touch

"Can you see the people
Staring at the steeples
Wondering why they’re so lonely..."
- "Manhattan," The War

I've never heard this song before yesterday - I was listening to Pandora and it came up, and it was just my kind of song so I bought it off of iTunes. But as I was listening to this secular song, it touched me in a different way than expected.

I just read this morning about how we become entangled in our own arrogance and pride when we serve out of duty and make that the basis for our faith, and also when we make decisions on our own sense and ask God to bless those decisions. That really describes me most of the time - I make most of my own decisions because I think I have good enough judgment or because I think it's not important enough for God to intervene. Sometimes, I do feel like I'm really lonely - I realize that when I depend on church functions to cultivate my spiritual life, I fall to the bottom very quickly... And so I "stare at the steeples, wonder why I'm so lonely."

That's most definitely because I ignore who God is, that He's here, and that I'm not alone. I want to stop wondering why I'm so lonely, and do things for the wrong reason, but to come to the true realization that God is the owner of me - He makes my every decision for me, and He answers when I cry out, and my work is nothing but useless.