the day my conscience died.

I think the biggest fear I might possibly have is to lose my conscience. It has happened before... when I've sinned daily with no regrets, I learned to drown out my conscience with my own justifications.

I want to remember this, especially thinking back to how I always wonder what salvation has done for me. The change inside of me since accepting Christ has been most defined within my conscience and how I see myself in sin today. When people rebuke me for doing wrong, I know my first instinct is to defend myself with a long string of excuses. I tell myself that I have a legitimate reason for doing something, but I realize that it all comes back down to the fact that I am unwilling to admit my wrongs, I'm unwilling to give in and let go of my pride.
When I get in arguments with my dad, that's what usually happens. I argue with him vehemently with my own opinions, and he does the same, and we end up never giving in. I never apologize, and so it ends up being that we only make up with one another through time and as time passes. Of course, that still leaves some scarring on the heart that needs to be mended.
Asking and giving forgiveness are the two hardest acts in the world.

That's why I want to make a commitment. Not to self-justify my wrongs - when people point out or rebuke me for my sins, to accept it in all humility, knowing that their judgment is probably more accurate than what I think I know of myself.
Humility is also a gauge of your intimacy with God - when you are more in tune with Him, you see more of how broken you are. Ironically, as you look more towards God, the gap between your position and His widens because an awareness of your sin nature grows with humility.